How Do I Help My Child With Autism Develop a Christian Heart?
But a Christian can have other gifts, too. A lot of kids these days are self-centered. They do not think about other’s needs. And they are totally absorbed in their own world.
But as Christians, we want our kids to develop a servant’s heart.
However, children with autism are usually focused on themselves. But, does this nature mean that they are poor Christians? Not necessarily!
Being self-centered is typical for folks with Asperger’s syndrome or other high functioning autism whether they are kids, teens or adults. I do not believe that this nature can be totally changed. However, I do believe that the person can learn to think about the other person's point-of-view more often. Asking them questions in a non-judgmental way when circumstances come up is the most useful way to approach this training. For example, by asking, "Why do you think they said that?" or "What do you think that person was feeling?" you can get them to consider the needs of others. Also, teaching compromise and taking turns can be helpful. They will be able to function much better n the world with these skills. Your child will most likely not change unless he understands that he will be learning methods to help him hold a job or do well in school or fit into groups or whatever he is concerned about. In other words, use the self-centeredness to show him that it is to his advantage to put others first. I do not believe that a deficiency of caring for others necessarily means that they are not developing a Christian heart. Let me explain with ideas from the book, "Discover Your God-Given Gifts" by Don and Katie Fortune.
This book goes deeper than most Christian gift books in that they also incorporate sections on why you think and act the way you do, how gifts affect your relationships, and what career/ministry suits you best. Essentially, there are 7 gifts: server, giver, encourager, compassion person, teacher/researcher, administrator, and perceiver.
Server is just one of the gifts. This gift is the one that we often associate with being a good Christian. The term "servant heart" or “Christian heart” is used frequently to describe someone who has this gift. And many folks have the server gift – it is one of the most common gifts. However, individuals with autism usually do not have the server gift. Instead, they may have the gifts of teacher/researcher or administrator or perceiver. Thus, they will be using their spiritual gift in a different way than someone with the gift of serving, giving, encouraging, or compassion. No gift is "better" than another gift - just different. Corinthians 12:27 says that “You are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.” Thus, we must all be allowed to use our gifts to the fullest in order to have an effective family and church. We must appreciate the gift that each person has and help them use their gift appropriately. Bottom line is that an individual with autism can still have a Christian heart if they are using their God-given gifts to the best of their ability. I encourage you to investigate other questions and answers about the
Christian perspective of autism.
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